DL Hughley, Motivation, & AITAH

Today we break down DL Hughley’s claim that Black men are judged by the exception, not the rule. From media bias to personal experience, we explore how this mindset impacts daily life and how to challenge it.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Hey welcome to the real dreams podcast from your host daily news. I'm back with my man Duke Man. How you been?

SPEAKER_03 0:48

Good man. How you? How you?

SPEAKER_00 0:50

I'm good. I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Oh you already know how I've been cuz we was in vegan. We was.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

We was in vegetables. Man, it was it was a good time. It was a refresher. Get away for a minute. Reset the clock. Yeah, I mean, get our juices going for time with the ladies. And now we're back. And uh I gotta be honest, it was cold coming back. Back to the real world. Yeah. So yeah, back on the podcast, man. Missed you guys, and uh, we're glad to be back and back recording. And so let's uh, you know what I mean? Let's get back to our first topic. And our first topic of the day, man, we're just gonna react to an interview that all the smoke powercasts had with DL Hugley, and so uh, you know, we'll play the clip and uh supply react.

SPEAKER_07 1:43

Black men are judged by the exception, not the rule. The people that made it as opposed to the people that didn't. Most people are going to succumb to the streets. Most people in that environment. But then you all can go to concrete.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Most of us data are lucky. And if what is it? Why?

SPEAKER_07 2:04

Because we get filtered. We have extra stuff that it's a top left, or just and now the red button is the first one. And that to me is a standard that it's totally a quick gift. I think every person has the right to live a good life as an average human being. But we can only live a good life with the.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Yeah, let's get into it. You might if I go first in the start? Yeah. You know, I think I think the reason that that hit hard for me was because of the fact that we did come from situations where we know people that didn't make it, not because of luck or opportunity or things like that. And I think it it's it does us, it does do a disservice to us as a community when we look at like, oh well, if someone can do it, why can't everyone else instead of looking at the situation that we put everyone else in? You know what I mean? We didn't grow up with uh at least speak on me, like we didn't grow up, I didn't grow up with family members that knew about 401ks or life insurance or generational wealth. And so uh there was no like, oh yeah, you know, you you go to college and we'll help pay for it and we'll get you, you know, get you going, you know what I mean? And and it's funny because like now we're creating that same environment for our children. Um but like I'll I'll look at like my friends and like the kids I grew up with in high school, and like they didn't have that, they don't have that, and they're in situations where I look at and compare ourselves and I'm like, no, I'm in a way better situation to create opportunity for myself and my family. And it's not because of any great work that my family or anything has earned, it's become like a blessing or an opportunity that we were able to capitalize on. You know what I mean? We were able to get out of the bucket of crabs and get to a place where we can see things and learn and educate ourselves and really not being, I don't want to be held down, but I don't want to say held down, but being lifted up by the people around us and really embrace that opportunity. And I do believe that like it's a general not general, I want to say there's people still in this world today that look at at black people that have made it, that are exceptional, that thrive in this world, and and say, Oh, you are the good ones. And I don't think that's fair to the rest of our society, right?

SPEAKER_03 5:06

All right. Um, the thing that I took the most from that is, and this is how I was raised uh by both my mother and my father, um, that you have to be extraordinary just to be ordinary. Just to get an ordinary life, as a black man, you have to be extraordinary at what you do for you to create an ordinary life, something that somebody else could already have. Um, so I always took that with me. And I know when they were telling that to me, they didn't think I was listening. And later on in life, I told my folks, like, I know y'all, because y'all always used to tell me, you ain't listening, you ain't listening. I heard you. Yep, I heard you. Um, I mean I don't look like I was listening, yeah, because at the time, you know, I was what I was, you know, but I always listen. Um, and I've told them this before because I've gotten a chance to talk now that I'm older, a lot older, I've gotten a chance to talk to my folks to let them know that hey, all the heartache and pain that y'all went through, the separation that y'all went through, not knowing if I was gonna make it through and so on and so forth, I heard you. I heard you 100%. Um, you know, and every time I got to a point in my life to where it can either go left or it can go right, I heard you. And that allowed me to continue to go right instead of going left. Um, I have classmates, I have friends that went left, unfortunately, and they like have their life journey put a completely different, separate route. I was lucky enough to where I approved what they decided. I listened, I should say. I I could you you hear what people say, but do you actually listen? Do you actually could comprehend it? I actually listened to what they said. Again, at the time they were telling me that they were probably worried, like, he ain't listening. He's not listening, you know, you know, but I was. Um, you know, and like I said, for me personally, every time I came into some sort of cross rules in my life, I was able to go the right way because of the foundation that they built. My folks came from a place that wasn't great. I was born in a place that wasn't great. But every time, one thing that my my folks did was every time I got into a little bit of trouble or they seen me possibly get into some trouble, we gotta get up out of here. Right. We gotta put you in a better environment because environment does does take precedent to what the environment that you grow in or grow up in, I should say it it does have an effect on you, and that could be positive or negative. And even if you're in a negative environment, it does not mean that you have to be a negative person. You can still come out of that positive because you can look at it and be like, okay, that's not what I want to do. I want to do something else. I want to get up out of here, I want to be successful, I'm gonna create that general generational wealth. Uh, generational wealth is a I'm gonna be one of it with you, is a is a term that I wasn't familiar with until the last several years or what have you. I'm like, that makes sense, you know. Um now that does not mean that my folks wasn't trying to get wasn't trying to get my mindset around that, but I wasn't hearing that. Right, right. And I was in my teens, 20s, even 30s. Yeah, I wasn't hearing that. You know, um, I'm old enough now to understand and realize that and fess up to that. Um, because they tried. I wasn't compliment. I was a straight up nowhere. I was one of the people that I thought I was always the smartest person in the room. I thought can't nobody tell me nothing, like that Kanye something joint, yeah, can't tell me nothing. That was me. Like if you listen to the person that go, that was me. You know, it was like you can't tell me nothing I already knew. I ain't no shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I think about it now, I ain't no shit, but I thought I did. I thought I knew everything. I thought I had the the the keys to the castle, I thought I knew the passwords to to every um you know, to every code. I thought I knew all of that. I ain't no shit. Yeah, I didn't know nothing. And I had a hard time because of it, but it allowed me to grow because I had the foundation. Now, I didn't accept the foundation when I was younger. Yeah, but as those hard times came because that that those bricks was already built, those bricks was already down there, that mortar was already down there. I was like, okay, okay, this ain't what I want to do. This ain't the life that I want to live. How do I change that? And then that's when I thought back to those times where you know my parents were pleading with me, you gotta get it together, you gotta get this together. This world is, you know, this world is not nice to people your color. Right. Um this world is real, you gotta you for you to even get, like I said, you have to be extraordinary just to be ordinary. Like that's just what you learn. That's just how you know Pop set me down and talk to me. Even moms told me, you know, all that. I just had to, but I was in the type two that had to learn on my own. Like you can tell me what you want to tell me, but I gotta learn on my own. And you know, so I I you know 100%. You you again you have to be ordered uh extraordinary just to be ordinary. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

No, absolutely. I uh when I was when I was younger, my dad, my dad was not. My dad did his best. And uh I remember when I was younger, he slid up with my birth mother. And I remember I'm all over Yoga. I'm writing a book. Yes, I'm I've heard for y'all who don't know, but Daily News is writing a book. Now the joke has been told about this book for damn near hour now, but I'm writing the book now. And uh in the book, I don't even got a title for it. That's how I knew the book is. I speak about a situation where I was at my grandmother's house, my maternal grandmother's no one got alive, but there were like two people sent to the hospital, and the police questioned everyone at the house. Well, then we went back in the house, so we knocked on the door, and this is my dad. And he's like, We're leaving. And that was the last night I've ever spent on grandmother in this house.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

He apologized for putting me in that situation, but then when we got home, he stopped the crying, he was like, Hold on, I wanna let you know. He said this phrase He said, You're behind the eight-bar. You were born as a black man behind the eight-bar. And you and me both gotta work to get you in a place you need to. I had to have been seven years old. I ain't no pool. I ain't know what behind the eight-ball man. And he said this to me throughout my entire childhood. And for those of you who don't know, when you are playing pool and you will the goal of pool is to hit the balls that you are designated, whether it be striped or solids. Being behind the eight ball means that you did not set up your next shot. You're not supposed to hit the eight ball. So now you have to work harder to get to where you are supposed to be. You have to hit an angle shot around the eight ball because you can't hit it because then you lose your turn. And he was just and as I was an adult, he was essentially saying that the life that I've been born into made it that I had to work harder to get to where I needed to go. And uh man, I it really, really resonated with me too much now as I got an adult, but that you had to work harder to get to to get to that point where you can set up your next shot, you can set up your next step and your phases in life and things like that. And I'm you know finally in that place in my life, and man, I'm grateful for that. I wish I played pool when I was younger, so I'd know that lesson earlier. Um but just being in that situation really amplifies what he says, that like that is not that situation is not the ideal situation for growth. Like he said, just because a rose grows through cement doesn't mean it's fertile ground. And now that we have children that are older, wiser than our parents are, we're like, I need to make this ground fertile, have nutrients in it, so that way these kids can grow up into a situation to where they can be prosperous without all of the heartache and the the struggles that we had to go through, hopefully. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_08 14:39

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Yeah, absolutely. Good talk, good talk. Alright, we're gonna take a quick commercial break and uh we'll be right back. And we're back to the Real Dream Podcast, and we're on to a second segment, and I just want to kind of piggyback on on what we were we were just at, and uh, you know, we were talking about the idea of like just making it out of where we were at, getting to where we are, and and things like that. And I you know, I've known you damn near half my life almost now, and uh, you know, it we have both dealt with our fair s share hiccups, I'm gonna call it hiccups. Um absolutely absolutely self-inflicted. And uh, you know, and I'm sure you guys have all you know dealt with it, you know, as well. And I think at a certain point we all get to a point where it's like, alright, cool, I have to move, but it's silence, you know what I mean? There's nothing behind me, there's no audience, hey, you can do it, you know what I mean, and there's no applause. And so my question to you, and maybe advice to the listeners, what would what was the the driver force that made you like, hey, I gotta keep going? And what would you recommend to the audience to look for in case they are in that kind of same spot?

SPEAKER_06 16:23

Um, well, for me, it was a fear of failing. Um I think it was like I gotta stay afloat, I gotta stay afloat. I I got certain goals, I got things that I want to achieve in life. Um I may not be where I need to be right now, um, but I can't fail. One of the best things that ever happened to me was actually coming out here. Um because it literally was on me. I was either gonna sink or I was gonna swim. Um, I had no family, I had no friends, nothing like that. I was starting life completely over. Um, so it it so my original motivation was I can't fail. Um I I can't let my pops down, I can't let my mom's down, I can't let my grandmother down, my nana down, um, you know, especially my grandma and my nana. I probably wasn't the best person to them at times. Um but they never wavered. They always believed in me. They always told me that I was gonna be something, I was gonna be somebody, uh, even when I didn't deserve that praise. Yeah. Um so those nights that I was alone, especially when I moved out here, those nights that were cold, or those nights that I didn't know where I was gonna get my next meal, or how I was gonna do this, or how I was gonna do that, I had to stay focused. I had to figure it out, I had to figure out a way. Um and then obviously later on in life that became my children, and that's what I live for now. Um that's my my prior primary um goal is when I pass away, when people tell my children stories about me, they're positive. Yeah. Um they tell them how, you know, your dad was there for me when I was at my lowest time in life. Uh, even when he didn't have much, or or he might have not been where he wanted to be, but he was always solid. He was always there. He was always somebody that I can count on. Um he never turned his back on me. When he when he gave his word that meant something, I can believe the things that he said. Now, whether or not he accomplished them all, because I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I've accomplished everything that I wanted to accomplish, or um I've done exactly what it is that I've said, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I always tried. So even if I did not get to where I needed to be, or or or or be there 100% the way that person needed me to be, they still understood because they knew that I tried my best to be there for them. I didn't just if I cut you off, it was a reason why I cut you off. It wasn't, you know, I I I pride myself on being a solid individual. Um and so that that that matters to me, that people that actually know me, not the people that's on the side, the people that actually know me know that I'm a solid individual, and I'll try everything that I could possibly do to try to help you out. Whether I'm in that position or not, I'm still gonna try my best to do that. So that's that's basically been or is my motivation to this day, because I'm still motivated to try to do those things. At first it was because I did not want to fail, and it might have even been a little bit wanting to prove some people wrong. Um teachers that told me that I wasn't gonna be shit. Um I I I wanted to prove them wrong. You know, I wanted my folks to I I wanted my parents to be proud of what I had done or what I had become or what I did. Um and now it's I want my children to be proud that when they talk about their father, it's positive things. Um obviously they're not gonna agree with everything that I did or have done or whatever, but for the most part I want them to know that their dad was a solid individual. And when I'm long gone, the conversations that are had about me, I hope they're mostly positive. I know they're not gonna all be positive, but I hope that for the most part they're positive. Yeah, that's for me. That's my my motivation.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Oh man, I again my parents tried their best, but the situation that we were in, so many kids, there was a lot of responsibility put on me at a young age now. And my siblings didn't know that until I became an adult. Once I became an adult, I moved out. Yeah, I mean, I was hey, listen, I got this got this girl in me and she's pregnant. Um you know, I really I really feel forward. Yeah, good, good. It didn't end well. It did not go well. Like, I remember getting a call from my brother, I was like, yo, we need you back. And my immediate motivation, like then at this point in time, my whole motivation in life was to make sure, um, because of what they had been through, that my brothers and sisters were kind of being okay. And then now I'm like, I have to prioritize my own family. Like, and so I think the there was no I don't think it was an audience of an adult outside of you, really, you know what I mean, at first. And the woman I was w with who became my wife and the mother of my child and a few of her friends, like, but like there was no like, hey, get out, go on your own and make something of yourself, you know what I mean? It was more like, hey, I mean how. Undying urge is what mail me used to call it. Hell who knows who I need and you relate to and it was it was really tough. It was really tough, but like then once you get out once you experience life and once you have a family, it really became important to me to be successful. That way they know they could. You know what I mean? And uh to be aware of life, to be stable in the situation. And I think both of my brothers at one point in time lived with me, and it was under circumstances, it was like we are breaking this habit while you are and we're we're getting somewhere and goals of life. And I remember when my wife passed away, and I remember the and even my dad got sick. He remembered in the hospital. Yeah, and I remember the first thing both situations, the first thing I was focused on, I was like, have anyone checked on my brothers? Anyone checked on my sisters, are they okay? And so everyone did, they were good, I didn't talk to them because you know you got you got handy business and and later on in life like looking at it and I was talking to my brother, and he was like, hey, I just want to you know, one you know, like my knucklehead brother, you know, hey hey man, let me talk to you. I want to talk to you about something that was a bug in the kid. He was like, I want to tell you how unstable everything was. I mean you also like you know, it's like for me anyway. We all didn't know if you were another yeah and at that point you realize that your foundation is not only for your own individual failing family, but that's ability, like that groundedness that you're creating for your kids and for the you know what I mean, whatever, is also something that they're standing on show. And it was like, yeah, you ain't gotta show how you affect other people. Absolutely. And I didn't and I didn't realize that until he until he told me that he was like, he was like, he was like, I live 2,000 miles away and I didn't feel safe because you weren't I I I couldn't see you, couldn't see that rock that you hadn't been my whole life. And so I was like, yeah, I was not good. I was not good on either of those situations. I mean, you know, but I'm gonna pull myself together. I always knew that eventually, like I had prepared for that, and there was luckily you and my pop and good people around me that was like, listen, we understand you down, but we're not gonna let you fall. And and I got back up and remade it life, and it was and I think the best advice I can give anyone who is going through a situation where it's like, I don't hear any applause, I don't hear any, you're gonna make it, you're gonna do it, you're gonna get through with it.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

I'm not asking my brother or my best friend or you know what I mean, my aunt, to cheer me on.

unknown 26:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

But they do need that. And it's those people who you're like, I don't hear all the time that are really looking at you and like are saying to themselves, You can do it. I know you. I need that, and I want that from you, want that success. That are cheering you on in silence. And sometimes you gotta check in on those people and be like, hey, how do you feel about the stuff I'm going through and my life and all the things associated with it? A lot of times we don't like I don't talk to my brother about anything I don't talk to him about anything about what he is not supposed to be doing when it comes to when it comes to socializing. I love him to death. Nothing that's our relationship. Like our relationship is is literally, hey, how you doing? I'm like, I'm good. He's like, am I on speaker? See, that's the that's the conversations that we have. And so, um, but uh man, I I truly am thankful that he broke that down for me because it's like that's the people you need to check in with and be like, yo, I just I just need to know where you stand as far as you know our relationship and things like that, and ask questions or reach out to the people that may need it, you know what I mean? Or just say, like, hell, I got three of them now. Three of these little motherfuckers, and I I called my pop the other day after dealing with, you know what I mean, what we were talking about, like, yo, listen, I got six siblings. How did you do this? Like, like, realistically speaking, this don't make sense. I get it, like, after the third one, I'd be like, Look, man, number four, I don't know what to tell you. I ain't got no energy for this. I'm done. So, I mean, I I just thank them. I was like, Yeah, I really appreciate that patience you may have as long as you did have it for what we were going through and everything like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 28:27

So as you get older, it it allows you to not just understand, but appreciate what and I don't want to just say parents, but anybody that contributed to you becoming an functioning adult. You understand and you appreciate because we're not all lovable all the time. So those people that stuck with you and still loved you when you wasn't lovable, you appreciate that. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Like you said, when you get them little motherfuckers little versions of you, and you looking at them and like, what did you just say? Mm-hmm. Why did you think that was a good idea? And then you have to think back like, God damn. I see what my went through. Or I see what whoever, like I said, grandma or whoever, it could have been dude on the block that saw something in you was like, I'm gonna keep you straight, you know, you're gonna stay out of all of this. Like, it you appreciate it so much more because you're like, damn, was I like that? Yep. And you were. Like, I'ma answer the question for you. You were. You were probably worse, actually. More than likely, you was worse. Worse. Um, so it it's like it it's I don't know, man. Just I know everybody had to put up with me because I I'm not the easiest person to love sometimes. I understand that and I know that. So everybody that still loved me through that, I appreciate you so much. Um, even to this day, even the people that come into my life now, that everybody has contributed, whether you were a blessing or a lesson, you have contributed in some way, shape, or form for me being the man that I am today, somebody that I can look in the mirror and be like, okay, I I came from something. I'm I'm building something, I'm still building something. You know, um, I'm not in jail. I I didn't get in in big trouble. I got a little bit of trouble, not big trouble. Um, you know, I I got a pretty good life. Like, you can I can take a step back now as I'm getting older in life and be like, damn, I got a pretty good life right now. You know, I got a wonderful lady, I I got a my my kids are all excelling in in life right now. They're doing really good in school. Like, what else can I ask for? I have a job that that allows me to provide for things. Um, I'm doing a podcast with my best friend. It's like, how did I even get? Sometimes I wake up like, how did I even get here? Yeah and then you think about it, you're like, damn, bro, all those trials and tribulations that I went through, they do form you. They do allow you to grow. Every time that I felt uncomfortable, I grew. Every time that I felt at ease, I stayed still or or or dropped. So I know now and I understand that uncomfortability allows me to grow as a human being. And if I didn't go through those times where I was uncomfortable, I wouldn't be the man that I am today. Somebody that not just I can be proud of, but my kids can be proud of. I can't stress how big that is for me. Especially now, because y'all, I'm two years away from being 50. When I was 20-something years old, I there were times in my life I didn't know I was, I didn't think I was gonna make it to be 30, 40, and now pushing on 50. So I I can't, I'm at a time in my life, and maybe I'm still a little too young to do that, but I've reflected. I reflect almost every day. I I I my legacy means more to me than anything else. Like what I leave my kids leave more to me, mean more to me than anything else. Um, and not just financially, because I do want to leave them something that that that you know is gonna allow them to live a certain lifestyle, um, a better lifestyle than I live. Um but again, it it's it's like I said, those conversations are gonna be had after I go. I want my I want to be somebody that my kids are gonna be like, my dad always had my back. My dad was always there when he could be. And even if he wasn't there physically, he was there mentally. Um, you know, same thing like I said earlier. When I came to a crossroads in my life where I can go left or I can go right, hopefully my kids hear me and they ear. Like I heard my folks in my ear. Like I heard my OGs in my ear, all of that. You know, the people that I've come across that anybody that is giving me a kind word, anybody that saw something in me that I didn't see at times. Um when I was believing some of the things that I had heard from some teachers and stuff, that I wasn't gonna be shit, I ain't never gonna be shit, so on and so forth. When when I wasn't as confident as an individual as I may have needed to be, um, you know, because there's a lot of shit, and and everybody has their story, everybody has gone through shit. Nobody has had, you know, uh an easy life, so to speak. Everybody has faced some sort of uh adversary that you've had to get through or you came to that crossroads, and were you gonna go left or were you gonna go right? So it it is like I said, at this this point in time in my life, I'm all about reflect reflecting and and just uh appreciative. If if I've never told anybody who, again, if you were a lesson or a blessing, everybody contributed to me being the person that I am today. So I appreciate you regardless, you know.

SPEAKER_02 34:44

So I was telling my lady the other day, we were talking about her kid and her young her oldest daughter, our middle, and about how she sees me and stuff like that. We had a conversation, we had a really long conversation about some stuff that she's been through, and just viewing me as a as a comfort.

SPEAKER_08 35:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

And and uh she goes, after the conversation, a lady comes up to me, she goes, What in the world caused you to to get to this point? To be able to talk to her like that and to be so understanding and calm. And I was like, you know, when I was a kid, my dad remarried a white woman in Philly, unheard of at the time. It was like in the 2000s, you know, in the 90s, you know, not not very many of them. And um, but while he was in the midst of getting his life together, I lived with my grandmother. And so I was with my aunt, she was like taking care of someone, she ran into a friend, and she was like, Who this? She's like, Oh, this so-and-so's son. Oh, your brother? How you doing, baby? You know, you know, you know what I mean when I don't want that one, right? And she goes, I go, I'm doing good, I'm doing good. She's like, oh, yeah, yeah, oh, you doing good. Yeah, my family live around the corner. Oh, he not married. I guess no one thought my pop would get he didn't mean no one thought my pop would settle down. And uh I was like, Yeah. She's like, oh, no, how you know? Where your mom at? And I did not know how to answer that question. Cause I was like, I don't, I don't have a relationship with my mother at that time. I was like, so I told her, I was like, well, I don't really talk to my mother, but you know, I have a stepmom, and she's cool, but my grandmother, she, and I was trying to break it down to this lady, right? And she said, What? Shut the hell up. Listen to what I say. Your mother is who talks you in at night. Don't let nobody tell you different. Absolutely. And I was and I was like, Oh, my mother. And it was like quick, and it was like my stepmom. I was like, that's it, you know. And I remember I was like, that's my mom. And to this day, I still call her mom. And that like, you can't tell me that German Cherokee woman is not my mom. And uh, and I'll tell my lady this, I'm like, I ain't worried about her calling me dad. I ain't worried about that, but I'm gonna be a father too. Yeah, you know what I mean? And it goes to, like you were saying, like these these people that that do little things in your life that don't what they do may not mean anything in the grand scheme of things for us in that moment, but it it impacts you, and they they do deserve their flowers. They do. All of them, every single person that's in our lives and that left our lives, and yeah. Even the ones that left at some point, they were a blessing.

unknown 38:09

Now they could have turned into a lesson later, but at some point they were a blessing. At some point, they contributed to your growth. And that's how I look at it. Everybody contributes to my growth at some point in time. Yeah, and that's the purpose.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

That's the purpose of life, is that the purpose, but like that's part of life, is to grow. Yeah. Alright, man, we're gonna take a another quick commercial break, and we'll be back. We're on to our third segment of the day, man, and we're talking about Am I the Asshole? Yes. Oh my asshole. I thought it was a question. Oh. Am I the asshole? For for refusing right? Oh. For refusing to babysit my sister's miracle baby after what she did to my dog. Miracle baby, okay. So my sister, 32-year-old female, had a baby last year after years of struggling with infertility. We were all happy for her. She called her her miracle baby. And honestly, I didn't mind the attention he got until things got weird. Oh, because she would have been trying, her sister had been trying. Oh, okay, I got you. I got you. Yeah.

unknown 39:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 39:44

I don't know why that matters, but okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

No, are you good? In context of the story. Right, right. I, 28-year-old female, have a golden retriever named Benny. He's five. Sweetest boy alive. Everyone in the family loves him. Even my sister used to until the baby came along. One time I brought Benny over when I visited, he stayed with his his mat. He stayed on his mat, didn't bark or even move. The baby started crying, and my sister went, I think he's making the baby nervous, and asked me to put him outside in the middle of the winter. I said no, and left early. That was strike one. Next time I saw her, listen, strike one.

SPEAKER_06 40:32

I'm gonna go on a limb here and say that uh these are not black people. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

I'm gonna assume that these ain't black. Next time I saw her, she told me she told me straight up she didn't want Benny around her son because he's a dog. I said, okay, whatever, and stopped bringing bringing him. But I could tell something shifted. Then one day, I went out of town for a weekend and she begged me to let her stay at my place because hers was getting fumigated. I agreed thinking it was chill. I come home Sunday night and Benny is hiding under the bed, trembling, looking all scared. I find out she locked him in the laundry room for two days straight because he was starting he was staring too much and that made the baby fussy. No food, no water bowl, just locked him in there. I lost it. I told her she was never to set or never setting foot in my house again, and that she was lucky I didn't call animal services. Fast forward a month, she's going back to work and suddenly I'm her first choice for free childcare. Wants me to watch her baby two days a week. I said no. She flipped and called me bitter and selfless and said, I clearly don't understand what it means to love family unconditionally. My mom got involved and said, I'm being cruel when I could have been helpful. But this isn't about the about a dog, it's about how she treated something I love without remorse and now expects me to drop everything and help her like nothing happened. Am I the asshole for saying no to babysitting my nephew because of what she did to my dog?

SPEAKER_06 42:36

Uh you know what? I'm gonna go ahead and say no, she's not an asshole. Now the reason why is because exactly what that last little paragraph said. That is something that dog is something that she cares about, that she loves. It's tough. It's tough, but I'm gonna say, like I said, I'm gonna say no, she's not an asshole. Because that is something that she that dog is something that she loves, that she cares for, um, that she takes care of. Um and dogs usually are really good with kids.

SPEAKER_04 43:18

Um so I I don't think the baby had anything to do with the dog acting the way it was acting. The dog probably felt a certain kind of way. Well, she said the dog was just staring at the baby on the mat, probably wanting to do anything. Probably. But the baby was fussy because it was a dog's fault.

SPEAKER_06 43:35

Yeah. Like, you know, that's not the dog's fault. So I I I don't I don't I don't think she's the asshole at all.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

I'm so glad that you gave a responsible, heartfelt opinion on this topic that was full of logic and reasonability. I'm not that person. Fuck them kids. Okay, say it straight to the camera. Fuck them kids, okay? Listen, listen, as all as far as we're concerned, that's her baby. Betty is her baby. Exactly. And so I get your child may not like dogs, but to lock the dog up and abuse it for two, no food, like that's just and you did it in. Her house. Like, there's so much shit wrong with that.

SPEAKER_05 44:35

But then asked them to be the babysitter. Yeah. I'd be like, you know what? Yeah, I'll babysit your baby. My dog's gonna lick all on your baby face.

SPEAKER_08 44:43

Yeah, I'll see you.

SPEAKER_05 44:43

All on your baby face.

SPEAKER_02 44:45

Absolutely. God forbid. Like, like, I get it. Like, you in that moment are comparing a child to a dog, and there is no comparison when it comes to that. Right. At the same time. In the overall grand scheme of things. Right. At the same token, it's not about the doll. It's not about the baby. It's about your sist your your sister, who she is, and what she values. And if you don't value that, you can't ask her for her help. She ain't actually you if you would have been like, yeah, well, I'll stay at your house and fed the doll and been fine, there'd have been no issues. The fact that you abused them and locked them up and didn't feed them, didn't water him, and tormented him for no good reason other than staring at a baby, which he is a dog. Dogs sometimes like babies. Yes. Most of the time. Yeah. It's not like he did anything wrong about biting, licking, evade baby. He stared at the baby. And that was enough. Nope. Nope. She was their first-time parent, too. That's probably.

unknown 46:02

You know what? Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 46:04

And look, look, you can forget your your niece, your or your nephew will be will forgive you for not babysitting. You'll be fine. Mama can figure it out. And so, yeah. You're not the asshole. You're not the asshole. I hope Benny's okay.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

Me too.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

Yeah. Benny's probably a good boy. Yeah. And I hope the baby's okay too. I'm sure the baby or nephew's okay doing something. His mama's an asshole though. Yeah. Yeah, she's the asshole. She's the asshole. Yeah. Yeah. You right. You right. You right. Shoes. I don't know, man. Listen, I can't, I hate these. Am I the asshole stories? I'd be like, you need to be the asshole. A lot of these people are like, I'm worried I'm going to hurt someone's feelings. I'm like, nah, like that. Flip that switch. And the baby probably won't grow to love that dog. Absolutely. Obviously they're close. Obviously, they're close enough to where they like see each other a lot. And she brings the dog around, so there's gonna be some bonding. And mom not bringing the dog around the baby as it is, so of course it's my mom went to pet. I don't know, man. Yeah. But no, I think we both have come to the consensus that no, we don't feel like you're an asshole. Nah. I think you good. Yep. I think your your sister is the one in the wrong. Yep. And um you some and if Benny's hurt, she owe you some vet bills. But until then, uh until then she can pay for a babysitter. Figure that out.

unknown 47:39

And so. Until you get a thoughtful, heartfelt apology, then you can make your call after that.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

Agreed. Yeah.

unknown 47:49

So alright.

SPEAKER_02 47:51

You got anything to say, or you want to tell the fans? Uh drink plenty of water and don't be an asshole. Don't be an asshole. Like her sister. Like her sister. Yeah. Absolutely. Uh until next time. Um from Duke and I, man, thank you for listening and watching us. And until then, until next time. Keep dreaming.