The Real Dream Podcast
Follow My Friends and I as we discuss what our dreams are and follow them to become better men and fathers. A path to realize our real dreams.
The Real Dream Podcast
Dennis Rodman, Avoiding Obstacles, & AITAH
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Strained Father-Daughter Relationship Discussion
Speaker 2and welcome to the real dream podcast . I'm your host daily news . I'm here with my boy , duke man . How you doing today ? I'm good man . How are you ? I'm good , I'm good . Uh , to everybody listening to this . This is gonna come out christmas week , so we wish you a Merry Christmas , man . Hope you enjoy your holidays Happy holidays .
Speaker 3Yes , good to know that everybody's celebrating Christmas , true , true .
Speaker 2First episode back , and man , let's just get back into it .
Speaker 3What it's been over a year .
Speaker 2Yeah yeah , it's been over a year since we recorded an episode and had a couple interviews and everything like that . Took a break , got our lives changed and dealing with some stuff in our own personal lives , and now we're in a good spot to just get back to it . Man , gotta get our swagger back right quick . Yeah . Yeah , had to take a little bit of time . I don't know if I ever had swagger . I had something . I don't know if I call it swagger , but yeah , man , let's get back into it . Let's get on our first topic . Our first topic is this whole Dennis Rodman thing . Now , I know you didn't know about this . No , you didn't .
Speaker 3Somewhat I knew a little bit , but not everything Okay .
Speaker 2So we're going back into this whole story about Dennis Rodman and his daughter , trinity . She recently opened up on a podcast about a strained relationship between her and her father , was calling him out , calling him that he was a dad by blood only and it was revealed that he was absent and things like that . So we're going to play you the clip .
Speaker 3Well , he's running around in a wedding dress , so I mean that might have something to do with it .
Speaker 2He was tripping back in the 90s . He was out there . Honestly , I didn't even know he had kids . I didn't either . So but yeah , his daughter , Trinity Rodman , is actually . She's a the USA national soccer team . She's a professional , I think . She plays for Manhattan .
Speaker 3The .
Speaker 2Manhattan soccer team .
Speaker 3Oh , you're the NWSL , yep .
Speaker 2I'll go ahead and play the clip and we'll go ahead and react to what she had to say about old dad .
Speaker 4I think what the most frustrating part about it is is . I think , with how successful he was and how rich he was , he was surrounded by a lot of toxic people . He's never understood that people could actually just want to be around him and to just want to , like , make him happy .
Speaker 1Like we . Yes , we're coming to you for money because we're literally living in a fucking car , but we also want you . But he's so paranoid of whatever's going on in his life that he can't like accept what you guys are trying to give him . And so it's like this cat and mouse game where you guys feel like you're constantly being rejected .
Speaker 4For me . Emotionally . He's put me through like , oh my gosh , like even just him not talking to me for months , months and months . And then he randomly calls and he's like hey , like I'm thinking of doing a TV show , reality TV show you want to join ? I'm just like whoa , we had an expedition and we kind of lived in that for a little bit . We tried to live with him .
Speaker 4But he's having parties 24 seven . He's bringing random in . He loves the spotlight , he loves the cameras , he loves bringing his children on stage and being like , oh , these are my kids . I'm crying , no one knows what's going on and I'm like , dude , my dad's here . And then I walk over and again there's cameras everywhere . He grabs my head and I just start bawling into his arms as if , like it's a daddy-daughter , like I lost hope in like ever Getting him back . I answer the phone now for , like my conscience , to be like he needed to hear my voice before anything happens , like that's why I answer the phone , not for me he's not a dad , maybe by blood , but nothing else .
Speaker 2How long ago was this interview .
Speaker 3This video interview was done a couple weeks ago , like a week or so ago I thought I remember seeing something that they were doing good like , because I I knew they had a strange relationship , yeah , but I thought I heard that they came together like before the olympics actually , yeah , and was really good and on good speaking terms and he was around and stuff . So something must change . But tennis , robin man , I mean yeah , anybody that remembers the 90s ?
Speaker 2god , I remember that man married himself , like I just , I just remember him in the wedding dress and I remember the jordan talking about the . Uh , the last day vacation , yes you need a break oh man .
Speaker 2So all right , so let's , let's jump into this like . Oh man , so what does this reveal about , like the impact of absentee parenting , and how does like men like us deal ? How do we handle the pressure of parenting and not have to like get out ? You know what I mean , especially when the struggles like and struggles take us away from home , because dennis robin I don't think he was an actual like absentee father where he was just like I'm booking it , you know what I mean he just kind of nba girls , his priorities was just he got caught up .
Speaker 3Sound like he got caught up . Yeah , um , it's not like he . I I do know . I remember seeing a , a movie about his life and I don't know , I don't think his first daughter , um , I believe it was a little girl , I hope I'm not misquoted , but he was there for her and then that woman , at least in the movie , if I remember correctly , kind of took his kid away from him . And that's when , because Dennis was like strict , cut and everything . When he first got into the league he was quiet , soft spoken , just got rebounds and then a lot of this . I don't want to say I don't know what the man's been diagnosed with or anything like that , but all this craziness and foolishness that we started to see a lot of it stemmed from when he couldn't see his door , his first daughter as much as possible .
Speaker 3Now , obviously he followed a pattern with that and and repeated , and I don't know , I don't know how many children he has I know this young lady's in her 20s , so I don't know if this is the second kid or what where she's at in that that hierarchy of children , but it sounds like and again , I don't know his full background or anything like that , so I'm just going off of things that I've heard and seen . I don't know if he ever was taught how to be a dad or taught how to be a man per se , because he's got a lot of problems . He's got a lot of issues .
Speaker 3He's got a lot of mental issues and stuff like that . So I don't know . I'm not trying to give him a pass or anything like that . I know me personally , I try to be there for my kids as much as I possibly can , working or not working . Obviously , I've never been in the NBA , so I don't know how , I don't know that life but kids tend to just want somebody to feel like they care for them , to feel like that , no matter what mom or dad for that matter is doing , they're going to always be there for me . I can always , I can always , I can always , I can always , I can always count on mom or count on dad . It's clear that this young lady does not feel that way . It can go one or two ways because , not to go too far off topic , but Jalen Rose Jalen Rose' dad was in the NBA . He didn't know about his dad until he got older and he used that as fuel to motivate him to get to the NBA and become a better player than his dad was .
Speaker 3And he said his motivation was strictly that . So he can see what he missed out on . Jalen Rose's number is the opposite of his dad's number . See , I didn't know that , all of that . You know what I'm saying . When he was in high school , five he was just five in the pros , but in high school and I don't remember what that number was . But he purposely flipped his number on what his dad's number was .
Speaker 3Okay , so his dad can be like out you , right , I don't need you , you are a sperm to her type of thing . So I don't know if this young lady used that same uh motivation to become because she's one of the great , one of the best uh soccer players in the world , right , yeah , you know . So I don't know if she used that as the same motivation or not . Because they had I know they had a hard life , because you know they , they were hard up for money , like mom didn't sound . I don't think the mom asked for much from from uh dennis and such . They absolutely positively needed it and stuff like that . So I don't know . But I mean you know .
Speaker 2So reports say that like the moms , like she was talking in an interview about how the mom really tried , really trying to create a stable environment with all the chaos .
Speaker 2And the daughter in the interview you can go check it out she even talked about how Dennis Rodman , when she was with him , was like bringing a bunch of women home and stuff like that . Yeah , man . So I think I remember being in high school right and I remember playing football . Think I remember being in high school right and I remember playing football , and I remember my parents had to work . My dad worked 12 hours in the morning , my grandma worked 12 hours at night and that was a job , or vice versa , my mom worked 12 hours during the day , my dad worked 12 hours at night and he had to sleep during the day . My mom worked 12 hours during the day , my dad worked 12 hours at night and he had to sleep during the day . And so there was a lot like they had to do because we had damn near a thousand kids , siblings , right , and so , uh , and I remember playing football my senior year and I remember it was senior night and I remember talking to my dad . I was like , hey , are you gonna be able to come ? He was like , nah , I'm not gonna be able to and I was like , all right , cool , I understand because you know , I understand , I'm the oldest of my siblings . I'm like I totally understand that . And so in my mind I'm talking with some of the other players because they had a rule that you can't just go out to the field by yourself so they won't have other parents come out for you or other coaches or something . Right , do that too . Right . And we're walking out to the field on a senior night and right before the seniors get out , my dad taps me on the shoulder pad and he's like I'll meet you on the 50 yard line . And I'm like , oh shit , you know what I mean . Okay , you bet .
Reflecting on Parental Responsibilities and Legacies
Speaker 2Now we had one teammate whose dad was like dealing with some other stuff , like personal issues , and so all the I hate to say this all the brothers just got together and met him at the 50-yard line my dad and someone else's dad and a couple others and they met him so that way he wouldn't be alone .
Speaker 2But I remember that meaning so much to me . Like , just not necessarily . Like , I understand , you got to work , you got to do things and things like that . I don't know what strings he pulled to even get there , but he was at least there . He was like I'm gonna be here for the first half , you give me for the first half . Then I gotta go to work . I'm like , okay , I'm good with that , um and uh , so then fast forward .
Speaker 2I'm grown , my kid has a game um hour and 15 minutes away and my concern is you're not going to fall and get a concussion with your clumsy ass at this game and me not be able to me find out that they taking you to the hospital . That's not gonna happen . And so I pulled some strings at work and I'm working a lot for the holidays and I pulled some strings and I was able to get off work like an hour and a half earlier . So I'm like bet I can make the game . So I leave early , I make the game and I pull up right when the coach is giving his speech to go on the court . And you can see , as I walked by him , she like saw me and like got teary-eyed and tried like to play it off and smile and not try to make eye contact with me . Um , but uh , and then she goes out and then she scores like 20 points in the game , right , and so it was just super cool . Because afterwards she's like I appreciate you coming and you realize , like they don't . They don't acknowledge the fact that you work , they don't acknowledge the fact that your back is hurt or anything like that .
Speaker 2But in that and in this moment , like we you know we old now , I'm not old . I like to pretend I'm not . You're not that old , I'm sorry , you're not that old , I'm not old . But my knees , you are not that old , my knees , you are not fat , I'm not that old . But my knees don't work like they used to . Not old , I tell my knees that . Tell my knees that they mid 30s , because I'd be when I'd be . I saw my , I saw a video of me running . That shit is not pretty . That shit is not pretty . That is not young me , that is not a young body , uh , but uh , but like my daughter's , like our kids are 13 , 14 years old . That's not a long life . So that is a huge moment for them , whereas us is like I'll reminisce about that , that was pretty cool about , and with them it's like , oh , those are the things they remember .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , man , I remember the people that are there for them .
Speaker 2Right , right , and it just . I think the biggest issue with this story is that she's grown , she's accomplished stuff , and there's always this narrative , this question on the line as far as who is the responsibility ? It is to rectify relationships once children get older and become adults themselves , and it whether or not it's on the parents or not . And I know some people that are like , oh my kid , they done with me , and I mean it is what it is . No , you gotta put in work to rectify that relationship or accept the fact that they're gonna be on podcasts talking about you . You can't be a union .
Speaker 3To me it's just a lot All you can do . It's tough , especially in this situation . I don't know where his head space is at . I don't know if it's his guilt that's not allowing him to be the father that he wants to be . And obviously I'm just going off of how I feel about the situation because I don't know the man . You know it could be anything , it could be . He's embarrassed by the way he treated his mom .
Speaker 3I'm not saying that any of these things are right , because ultimately , he is the adult in the situation . Well , they're both adults now , but he is the dad in the situation . So I do think it's always up to him to rectify whatever issues . It may be , having an adult conversation with his adult daughter , because I want to say she's mid-20s , yeah , she's a grown-down , so she's capable of having an adult conversation with and , at the end of the day , your kids just want to love you . At the end of the day , your kids want to feel like you love them and they want to love you right ? Um , as as much as she was talking about there and upset she was or well , not necessarily upset , but speaking her truth . I guarantee you , if he picked up the phone and talked to her and explained things . She might not like what he's saying , but she can understand it and then they can start moving forward and having a productive relationship going forward .
Speaker 2Right , snoop Dogg was at the Olympics . Let's be real , snoop Dogg was the biggest supporter fan of the Olympics . He was sitting next to Simone Biles' mom . He was there . He was over there like power lifting , like a blank pole . Snoop was just out there having the time of his life who's like 50 , 60 years old now ? But you just gotta be there and I think , yeah , you can have conversation and , yeah , they may not forgive you at that time . You know what I mean , but she's a national soccer player , just be there . She know what I mean , but she's a national soccer player , just be there . She's at the age where she's hopefully , maybe eventually gonna start starting her own family . You know what I mean and you gotta , yeah , man , it just I don't . I don't see where it's like I understand you want to look at the world through a different lens , but it's like there is no different lens when it comes to your kid . Your kid's lens is or your child or your daughter's lens .
Speaker 3it's hers and so you got in the day . When it's all said and done , that's your legacy . So what do you want your legacy ? Going around , thinking about you ? Yeah , that's my thought process .
Speaker 3Um , you know , when people ask me , I'm like , at this point in my life , I'm focused on my legacy . I'm focused on when I pass and my children are still here , what conversations are they going to be able to have about me ? Right , right , um , you know , I want people to be able to come to my kids and be like , hey , I knew your dad . Your dad was a hell of a person . You know , your dad did this for me , or not even did this for me . Your dad was there for me , your dad , whenever I needed somebody , I knew I can count on your , your pops . That's what I want people to say about me . That's what I care about at this point in my life is and you , just as you get older , especially as a man , you start to face your mortality . Yeah , um , and that's where I'm at , like I , you know , I'm 47 years old . I'll be 48 in march . I still have a lot of time left , I feel like . But but with my , my youngest is seven , you know . So you know , do the math there . Yeah , you know . So I want to make sure that when I leave this earth and I take my last breath , I'm going to be somebody that he's going to be proud of in all my children yeah , especially him , because my other kids I've been around long enough for them .
Speaker 3He's still a kid , he's still a baby . You know he's seven kid . He's still a baby . You know he's seven . Yeah , he don't think he's a baby , but he's still a baby , um , you know so . So that's what matters to me that when I'm long gone , somebody could say to him be like hey , I knew your pops . Yo , your pops was a good dude , you know , your pops was , was , you know , and not just and I don't want it to be them just saying that I was there . I want him to be like you know what ? I know that , I know that about my pops . I know because every time I reached out to my pops he was there for me . You know , type of thing that's that's what matters to me , period .
Speaker 2Yeah , no , absolutely . I tell uh , my older still all the time I'm like , listen man , it is the important things to accomplish in life , but being a good person cannot be overshadowed .
Acts of Heroism and Personal Values
Speaker 2And I remember I forget what happened . We were going to Walmart , I don't know if I told you this . So we were going to Walmart and I remember I was don't judge , okay , all right . So I was in like a Captain America t-shirt , okay , okay .
Speaker 3Wait , wait , wait .
Speaker 2Captain America , captain America , no , no , it was just like the shield , but it was a new shield . It was like the Falcon shield . Okay yeah , I don't know if you know , but like there's a small difference in the shields I don't know if you know , but there's a small difference in the shields . And I made sure . I was like okay , this is the Falcon shield , I'll show it to you . And so , like the Sam Wilson shield , and so we go and we're getting off on the exit and there's a huge accident . Someone got rear-ended into another car and that car got pushed into the traffic . And so they're pulling out this woman out of the car . She was black and everybody kept asking me if she was my girlfriend or my wife . I was like no , stop , stop . I know , I know we in a place where there's not a lot of black people , just because you see two don't mean we together , like whatever . And so immediately I just like I'm , you know , I'm in the medical field . So I pull over and I go and I'm like listen , I need you to stay by this car , because the one car I got pushed out in the traffic , that person is still in that car . So if traffic comes , you know , another accident . I just need you to stay by this car . I need to get that woman out of the car .
Speaker 2So I go , I run out on the street . There's another guy directing traffic and there's this older woman and she's you can tell she's in shock . And so I'm like we need to get you out of this car . You're fine , but I need to get you away because you're still in neutral , like you're not here , and so she , I take her and I set her by my kid . I'm like you just stay right here .
Speaker 2And she's like , and my kid's like , what do I do ? I'm like I just want you to tell her about your basketball game , just get her mind off of this . He's like , okay , and so you know my kid will talk your ear off . So then I go , I check on the other woman who's pregnant , and they're fine , police are coming and everything like that . And I go , um , like , okay , cool , they're stable , this woman's stable . I didn't see the accident , they did , please pull up . I'm like everybody's here , we're good , I'm going to take my kid out of here . And so , to take my kid out of here , and so she , we go , and then we finish going walmart and she goes , I am , I am so like scared and I was like so worried for that lady and I was worried for you , daddy , and I was like it's okay , daddy was fine , I ain't , I'm not going , I'm gonna be all right .
Speaker 2Um , daddy decided to help her and she's like , well , well , you did everything . I'm like , well , you know , you talked to her and you calmed her down , so you kind of helped save that lady's life . She's like , well , you did everything . I'm like , well , you know , you talked to her and you calmed her down , so you kind of helped save that lady's life . She's like I did , daddy , I saved a woman . And so I'm like go ahead , girl . And so we get out the car and we walk down , walk to the store , and as we're walking , these two little , these three kids , like teenagers , like 20 years old , they go hey , you're Captain America .
Speaker 2I'm like , no , at first I took it as an insult . I was like , oh , they just think I look like this motherfucker . You know what I mean ? I don't look like wait , hold on , hold on . You wish you looked like him . I wish , nah , I don't wish I looked like him . I don't . Maybe , maybe I don't , maybe , maybe , I don't know you look like him . Anyway , anyway , I was like , no , I don't look like him . They was like , no , we saw you in the street . Is that lady going to be okay . And I was like , yeah , she's going to be fine . Medics there , you know what I mean . They're fine , she seems stable . They're going to take her to the hospital , make the baby's okay , the older woman's okay too . But you know , we'll see . And they're like , oh man , I couldn't stop , I was scared . And then so we walk in and she goes daddy , you're a hero . And I'm like I didn't pull anything , I didn't do anything , I just got laid to the side of the road . But it was nice to kind of get that . You know what I mean .
Speaker 2That feeling was like when your kid tells you like man , you're a hero , absolutely . You know , I mean , and especially for every little girl , their dad is their first hero , right , right . And so it's just I try to stretch to it that it's important , it's important to be a good person more than anything .
Speaker 3But you can be smart all that and so , at the end of the day , that's what you leave with it . Don't matter how much money you have it don't matter how much status you have , how much swag you have . At the end of the day , that's what you leave with it , don't matter how much money you have . It don't matter how much status you have , how much swag you have . At the end of the day is what type of person were you ? Because that's what people are going to remember . Daily news . Had all that cash and , and he did .
Speaker 3They're not going to remember that . Yeah , they're going to remember . Hey , do you remember daily news ? I heard a story about him helping somebody that was in a car accident . Or I heard a story about how he helped so and so when they were down on their luck and and he was there for that person .
Speaker 3That's the thing that people ultimately remember . They're not going to remember the time that you let them borrow x amount of money . No , they're going to remember that time when they needed to be talked off of that rooftop , when they felt like life was not worth living or something was just going on to , where they just could not handle it , and you helped them get past . That that's the thing that I remember . Everybody that's ever done anything like that for me . I don't remember if people loaned me money first off because I've already paid it back . Right , I don't like all of them like that anyway , yeah . But you know , I don't remember stuff like that . I remember when , if I was down and out , if you checked in on me , if , if , if you hadn't heard from me in a couple of days and we normally conversate like that you were just like hey , bro , I'm just checking up on you to make sure you good , I'm checking on your mental , I want to make sure you good . That's what I remember . I don't remember the farewell friends that when I'm doing well , everybody want to know who I am and everybody want to be around me . I remember when I wasn't doing well at all and I was struggling and living paycheck to paycheck . I remember the motherfuckers that were still there .
Speaker 3You know what I'm saying and that's the same thing . That's how I raised my children is remember the people that are truly down for you when you're at your lowest point . Are they still around ? Are they checking in on you or did they disappear ? And the next time you talk to them is the next time you reached out to them . Yeah , that's what people can say , anything they want to say .
Speaker 3I don't believe words . I don't care what anybody say , word wise . I look at what your actions are . I look at what your body language tells me , because you can tell me anything you want to tell me . Right , but I'm studying how you saying it . I'm studying I'm . I'm like okay , when I was in this situation previously , was you down or did you disappear ? And now all of a sudden , we talking again because I'm back up . Yeah , you know I'm saying so . We kind of got off topic with that , but yeah , you know , that's just . You know something that I teach my children Like pay attention . Pay attention to everybody around you , whether you know they , whether you think they cool or not . Pay attention when things get hairy , when you're in a situation . Who's down for you and who all of a sudden , oh I ain't got it .
Speaker 3Or I ain't I got other things ? I'm not around All of a sudden . Oh , I didn't know . You called me , or ? Oh , my bad , I'm just seeing that you texted me and it's three days later . Just pay attention to those things , because people can say what they want to say , but their actions will always tell you what they actually mean . My middle child .
Speaker 2We've moved and so she's trying to make friends . And she's like I'm going gonna go to their wrestling meet or whatever . And I'm like , oh cool , that's awesome . She's like , yeah , I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna go , I'm gonna support my friends and you know , everyone's her friend at this point , you know . And I'm like , well , are they your friends ? And she's like , I don't know what you mean . I'm like , well , are they coming to your basketball ?
Speaker 2games are they coming to your things . This is where your track means he's like well , no , I'm like don't , don't cross an ocean for people that won't jump over a puddle for you like it's , it's little things like that that you just . I mean , she's young , so she has to learn , and these are the growing years and figuring out who you are and how you want to make your friends and how you want to interact . And my oldest one , she's taking it to heart and she was like no , I know exactly , I have friends that I talk to every day .
Speaker 2I have friends that I go to for advice . I have friends that tell me when I'm fucking up and I need to get in . You just have to figure out which is which . You got friends . You have acquaintances I'm not saying acquaintances are bad .
Speaker 3Just know where bad , yeah , just know where they at , just know what lane they in . And keep them in , yep , unless they want a promotion and they show you that they are worthy of that promotion . But keep them , and there's nothing wrong with that . You know there's different . There's different sets . You're gonna find different people within your life . There's levels to this . All right alright , man .
Speaker 2Well , that was a great first fucking segment .
Speaker 2A little rusty , but we're getting to it we're getting to it so we're gonna take a quick break and we'll on to a second topic of the day . We just want to piggyback off of our first segment here and and go into , you know , just the reality of where we're at in our lives . You know , I mean our daughters , our , our sons , our children are watching us and learning from us and relying on us to guide them through this world . And , in light of the whole Dennis Rodman and Trinity Rodman situation , let's just have a conversation about confidence and the values that we instill in our kids and things like
Navigating Parenting Obstacles and Self-Defense
Speaker 2that . And just how do we navigate , specifically being present , despite the life obstacles ? Like , obviously , we got work , we got . You know births , deaths , you know financial situations . I ain't having no more births . Well , not ours . I got nieces and nephews . I ain't having no more . So you cut that part out of it .
Speaker 2Man , I'm done too , so but uh , yeah , I think , once your , your daughter , hits puberty , you done like , once your oldest daughter , not maybe not the sons , but the girls , man , once they hit puberty , I'm done . So . Uh , let's go ahead and uh , just expand on it , though , man , what ? How do you ? How would you navigate those obstacles as far as being present versus you know what I mean it's just being .
Speaker 3it starts with being present , if you're . If you're present , then everything else I don't want to say everything falls into place and make it seem like it's simple and easy , because it's not . No , parenting is not easy . Every child is different . When you have multiple kids , you learn that You're like oh okay , this might have worked for the first kid , this ain't going to work for this one . This one's a little crazy . So I need to change my setup . I need to change how I come at you , because I'll tell you , right now I have a child where I got to come out like we about to go to war and be like look , you don't change this shit . Right now we're going to have a problem . Yeah , you know , and over my inner Kevin Hart about to put the paws on him , I'm about to put the paws on him . Let me tell you something , calvin , you got one more time to do something crazy boy . Before you get the paws , you got one more time to do some crazy boy for you get to pause .
Speaker 3But then I have another child where you know it's more of a . Okay , you know you done fucked up . Right , you learn from that . What did you learn ? What happened this daddy and this ? Okay , we're going to do that again . Nope , you ain't got to work , and I know when I have that conversation with her , that's it . Yeah , she's going to move forward . She learns sometimes Because I'm that type you can't tell me things . I have to learn it on my own Right . And if that means that I fall , that means I motherfucking fall Right , right , then I learn how to pick myself up . I have a child right now that's kind of learning that a little bit had to fall a little bit yep , and now they're working on picking themselves back up .
Speaker 3I'm still right there , I'm monitoring . He even told me the other day he's like I know you're worried , dad , but I got this . But I also know that if I absolutely need you , you right there , yeah , like 100 , I'm gonna let you now . That don't mean I'm not gonna let you fall a little bit , because I do think you need to learn those lessons sometimes because it's either a lesson or a blessing , and sometimes a lesson can turn into a blessing based off of the situation . But I know at the end of the day he's going to be fine , right , you know . But it meant a lot to me to know that he knows that .
Speaker 3That's like my youngest . For instance , last year his teacher reached out to me because he was being named like student of the month or something OK . But I couldn't make it because she told me too late and I remember saying to her hey , just let him know that his dad loves him . Sorry that I couldn't make it , and let him know that love loves him . She texted me back and she was like when I told him that , he said I know , but that was like the best thing ever , because he already knew , you know .
Speaker 3So I , and that was my worry , because I didn't want well , I don't want any of my children to think that I don't love them , because as a parent , if you can't make things , sometimes you feel that way . You're like damn it . I hope they don't think that they don't matter enough , but sometimes adult life doesn't allow you to do everything that you want to do , and so that made me feel so good . But his immediate response was I already know , I know my dad loves me . I was like okay , and is dad loves me ? I was like okay , and he's proud of me , right . Right , you know ? So that that meant the world , because that meant that I'm doing something , right ? Yeah , because he understands that and he knows that . So if there are things that I can't make it to , he knows , it's not for lack of trying . He knows because I don't love him and stuff like that , because I don't want any of my children walking around thinking that their dad does not love them right right .
Speaker 2So , like I had a conversation with my dad just the other day , I was like hey , because we were talking about my oldest playing basketball . My dad's a big basketball guy and everything . He's kind of talking to me . I'm like how did you do this when we were kids ? And he's like you just got to love coaching and being that person . I'm like no , no , no , having kids there's six of us how did you do this ? He's like I don't know , I gave up in the last two Selfless man .
Speaker 2Being a parent is selfless . It's so funny because like , like , so we have a blended family and me and my girlfriend and so my oldest being biracial and being in the area that we live in , she's had multiple documented issues with race in her schools and I understand it . I understand what it's like being black and being in America , and so I've dealt with those things on a very aggressive level . As far as being an involved parent anytime or anything that happens right Now , our middle one is different . Her dad's not around and , unlike our oldest , and the youngest , is different . Her dad's not around and , unlike my oldest and the youngest , the oldest will protect if she needs to , but she's very much so like zero to a hundred and just like emotional , like outbursts right , like it's like a . I can't believe I did this . I'm so like I can't . You know what I mean .
Speaker 2Um , the youngest one is kind of the same way . He's very sensitive and he's very passionate about like people and not wanting to hurt other people . The middle child don't give a damn , she will . She will hit you and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich . That same five , five minutes later . It's like she don't care about nothing . So she goes and she comes home and she's telling us about this person . I was picking on her and everything like that . And she goes in . So she was picking on me and everything like that , and I told her you're in my bubble and I will push you out and I will shove you or anything like that . And she was like no , you won't . She was like yes , I will , and if you touch me , like yada , yada , yada . And so I'm like so we have this conversation like that .
Speaker 3First off , I don't mean to interrupt you , but first off let me find out who that kid is . Right , right ?
Speaker 2Okay , okay , I will punch that kid , right , right , right , I'm done right now and so , and so I'm just like I understand , defending yourself . You got to do what you got to do , but you're a little bit aggressive with it , right ? So let's remind us that we act in self-defense . Nope , right , you're like no , no , no right .
Speaker 3When it comes to mine , we . So I'm telling you right now you mess with it when the camera at . I'm going to look right here . I'm going to look right here . I'm going to tell you right now Any of you little chrome smashers mess with any of my children or any of my nieces or nephews you're going to have to come see me . I'm going to throat punch you and then have your parents come and I'm going to throat punch them too . That's my PSA for the day . I can't breathe , Continue Not play with me .
Speaker 2I'm trying , I'm trying to get my thoughts together , but so she goes . I'm like listen , you can defend yourself . It doesn't have to be physical or like even in your mental , but you defend yourself . I don't care how you do it . And then , once you do it , if you have to put hands on someone whatever case me , and you felt like that was needed , we'll have a conversation .
Speaker 2Yeah , and it was then that she realized one that I've never told my daughter that if she ever got into a fight she'd get punished . I've always said you don't start it , it's a , it's a conversation , because I know my kids would never start a fight , except for her . She might , she might be the one . So I could see that . Yep , and so she goes and right before she leaves the room and I stop , I'm like hey , listen , I want you to understand something . And she was like yeah , and she was like yeah , I was like I understand . You never had this in your life .
Speaker 2If anything happens when school and someone is picking on you , you understand that to go to the teacher and let them know . And then you let us know , and she's like yeah , and she's like and if it doesn't get resolved you still let me know . I will go into the school and then we have to have a conversation about why it wasn't resolved and my daughter had to put it in her own hands and she paused and she was like you , you would go into the school . That's all I get . I've met . Our oldest is principal in every single school she's been in because of issues that have transpired , issues that have transpired . I have no problem going into your school and saying we need to have a conversation about why my kid had an issue , went to you about it and it was not rectified and so , like she , you could see she was like are you serious .
Speaker 2I was like yeah , no , no , it is my job to protect you , right ? And if you have to protect yourself at this age , that means I'm not doing my job . And if you have to protect yourself at this age , that means I'm not doing my job . And so now I have to go and say yo , I give you responsible , or the school is responsible at this moment in time , to care and protect my kid . When I'm not there , why aren't you doing your job ? Why does she come to you ? Because now I have to protect her and hold you accountable . Now I have to protect her and hold you accountable .
Speaker 2And it was nice to see that at that moment in time she had just like , oh , I did not realize that . Yeah , no , absolutely . And you could see her kind of like have a little pep in her stuff . I was like , okay , yeah , I got backup . I'm like hold on now , hold on , now , let's pump the brakes in and so . But it was good , man , it was good to see a smile on her face and be able to realize that she had , that she didn't have to deal with that alone .
Speaker 2You know what I mean and like we were talking about man , it just it's just about engaging and being there and having conversations with your kids and stuff like that and talking to them . There's like , like my oldest , she'll be like you remember so-and-so ? Nope , I do not remember so-and-so , but she's told me so many names that I'm like , okay , finish the story and I'm gonna pinpoint it , um , and crying about the other ones because they're young , so they're not gonna always be like especially young , so they're not gonna always be like , especially with me . They're not gonna always be like , hey , you remember so-and-so , because they don't I'm new , so they're not . They're gonna talk , mom , about them . That would be like , hey , how was ryan , how was jake , how was uh britney , how was so-and-so
Cultural Connections and Misunderstandings
Speaker 2?
Speaker 3in your class . I have some the shawns and the quans up in there . I Brittany and Jayden .
Speaker 2What the fuck is that ? Okay , I'm using generic names . They ain't no goddamn generic names . Yes , they are , because if I mention any , those are white names , I know . But where we live at , if I mention a black name , that's going to be specific to that person . Like I know my youngest it's some goddamn Daquans or something around here . It's gotta be . Yes , yes , yes . He doesn't know what Jaquan is . See , that's my point .
Speaker 2I hate the fact that you like pulled some random name out of your head . It was like yep , that's it . Times are a-changing . Our oldest she cracks me up because she's like yeah , you know me and your oldest daughter and a couple others . She's like yeah , you know , I got a special relationship with her . I got a special relationship with her . I got a special relationship with her because we're colored girls and we understand things . Did she just call your children colored ? No , that's what she says . She's like we're the colored people in the school Because there's another girl in the group . That's Mexican Rodriguez . That's the coach Martinez . I don't know her name . You're going to have to have a conversation with her about that . I know Her vernacular needs to be adjusted . Oh Lord , it's cool to have those conversations and she'd be like but this one girl act like we don't have the same hair , we don't Girl . It was so funny because she was like the way she I'll to our white listeners . You may not understand this .
Speaker 2In the black community , when you walk and you're doing something whatever it is about your day and you see another black person , we typically nod to each other , even if we don't know you , and we have a compliment that gets , that's it . It's just like hey , I see you , continue . You know you look good , continue , you know , I see you . You know what I mean . But if you don't nod back , that's fighting words . Yeah , in my mind I almost got into it with somebody at work because he listened to me . I nodded to him and he glared at me . He just looked at me with a blank stare and I almost was like whoa . I almost said out loud I was like well , fuck you too . But then , like you know , I had just started at the job and so , nah , he's special needs . And so I didn't know that . I didn't know that . Nope , I didn't know that You're not canceling me . We just came back from there .
Speaker 3I didn't know that , nope . And so after that Nope , I am not listening to the rest of your story .
Speaker 2We were cool . We were cool , but like no , if like , wait you cool with the special needs kid now , yes , I'm cool with the special needs kid , we best not talk about nodding . He's super nice . Do you know why he nodded , do you ?
Speaker 3even know why .
Speaker 2Yeah , we had a conversation , we talked , we talked . He's always like hey , tell me , you got a special needs kid at your place . I got a couple of them . I got one that talked to himself in the elevators oh , you're going to have to explore this later .
Speaker 3Oh yeah , I'll say hi , we're on camera and I don't want to say you know what ? I love everybody that she needs or not . I love you all .
Speaker 2there you go , but yeah , so we're going to talk about it off camera because I got a lot of questions .
Speaker 3I got a lot
Navigating Identity and Challenges
Speaker 3of questions .
Speaker 2So we had these conversations and she was like yo , dad , I did not like , I did not like that , I did not like that Like girl , your hair is just as nappy as mine . Don't be like , if I say hi to you , like , because she don't know the nods . She don't understand the nods so much . It's high school , so she'd be like if I say hi to you , I wasn't taught Right , right , right , that's not what it was like . If I say hi to you , right , right , but if you like , but like . She was like . But then like , later on she was like well , I guess she , like out of nowhere , just came up to me , was like oh my gosh , I love your hair , and it was because we had the same hairstyle , dad , and so it was just like out of nowhere . And it was like oh , okay , that's cool . She was like yeah , but I wasn't talking to her like that , I was just like oh , uh , my stepmom did it . Why ? And so you know so , because now she upset , now she got the attitude like nah , you didn't nod to me , you didn't recognize me on day three , don't try to act like we . Cool now because you want , you know .
Speaker 2So it's just yeah , it's interesting , just kind of dealing with those aspects , about just especially the middle one , just being able to understand like you got , I got your back , and that , in my mind , is just the idea of being present and like there's lots of obstacles we're gonna face and there's some , you know . I mean that's gonna make me just like be like , hey , listen , I'm taking the blunt of this to protect you and there's something that's like I gotta let you take the blunt of this so that we understand the world . Yeah and um , I don't like those ones . But yeah , man , it's just , it's a , it's a roller coaster , but it's a , it's one . I'm excited and glad to be on you . You know what I mean . I see it as a privilege , right ?
Speaker 3Yeah , it's tough Because , especially being where we're at , there's times where I'm like man , am I ? Yes , I'm present for my child . But again , obviously our kids are mixed and it's like it's a fine line Because where we live in is a predominantly white area . Yeah , so obviously they're getting that side of it , and especially in my kids , us two and our extended families are the only minorities that they know . Yeah , you know .
Speaker 3So that puts a lot of pressure , but that like , sometimes I go I'm like okay , Um , how I give it to her in , in in portions of the plight of the world and and my and my child I don't want to say she can mix in , but she's a little lighter .
Speaker 3So if you don't necessarily know , you might not know if she's mixing until you see her dad , obviously , and then there ain't no hiding it . So I think in some ways she hasn't quite had the same plight as your child , because you could tell that your child is mixed . My child is a little bit lighter . So , unless you know , sometimes I think she , she I don't want to say because she's not trying to get away with anything , but she's a little bit on the lighter scale , I should say so she hasn't quite had the same issues as your kid , but at the same token I try to have those conversations with her about , like if we just had a conversation earlier today , yeah yeah , yeah , her about , like , if we just had a conversation earlier today actually about , um , you know , angela davis , and and look that up and see , because , um , you know , you get enough of what I'm like her for lack of a better term I'm her black history .
Speaker 3Yeah , right , so it like falls on me to be like read up on angela davis , read up , read up on civil rights leaders and stuff like that , because in the school system , yeah , they learn a little bit about it , but not as much as I would like . So I have to be that extra conversation with her , I have to be that extra conversation with my sons , stuff like that to certain things that you need to be aware of . Because , at the end of the day , the world sees you as black . Right , I know you see yourself as a person , but the world sees you as black and that's a whole nother set of things . I know there's some people that might unless you have , unless you are black and have lived in my shoes or a black person's shoes , you never can 100% you can sympathize with it , you can empathize with it , but you can never truly 100% understand it , and I'm not the type of person that walks around like oh , the world is looking down on me , so on and so forth . I still try to rise above all that and go forward and push through . That's the same thing that I try to teach my children . Don't use that as a crush . Don't use that as an excuse .
Speaker 3If you feel like you need to be two or three times better , be two or three times better . Make it to where , no matter what it is that you're shooting for , that there's no reason that you can't get what it is that you're shooting for , that there's no reason that you can't get what it is that you're trying to achieve . Does that mean you might have to work a little bit harder ? Maybe , maybe you do , maybe you don't , but regardless , I want my children to be overachievers anyway , right ? So I don't teach them to be like oh , you have to work harder because of your skin color . I teach them you have to work harder just because , because you have to work harder because of your skin color , I teach them you have to work harder just because , because you want to be better , because you want to leave , no doubt when it is that you're trying to go do something , when you're trying to do something . So it's
Parenting, Identity, and Boundaries
Speaker 3tough .
Speaker 3Like I said , I have those conversations Even with my seven-year-old . I have those conversations . Obviously we started a little bit late because he's only seven , so there's only been so much he can grasp . But I've already started to have those conversations with him and stuff like that with my 14 year old . Same thing now she's . You know , they go to the same school , I go to the same school . They've grown up together and that's what's made it easier , honestly , is the fact that they've grown up together . They're only a couple of months apart and you know they've been sisters . They don't . You know they're not , you know a friend or a cousin , they're sisters .
Speaker 3As far as they're concerned , you know so and it's like it's funny because you know they have their other friends and stuff like that . But when it's them two together it's like boom , totally different the other friends are just like oh yeah , okay , I guess we're just kind of here . Yeah , I thought we was cool , I thought we was cool .
Speaker 2I thought we was cool , we was talking and texting , and this person comes . I don't even know who this is , I've met her like twice and then you just act like we don't exist . Yeah , yeah , that's so funny , it was . It's different , but the same , absolutely , absolutely so funny .
Speaker 2And I , when she was younger , I remember talking to her mother and we were talking about like she was like well , we're going to raise her as a person , like do you raise her as black ? Do you raise her as mixed ? No , she is who she is , yeah , exactly . And she was asking she she is , yeah , exactly . She asked me she's like Daddy , you're brown and mommy's light and pink , and what am I ?
Speaker 2I'm like you're your name and that's who you are and you understand that first , yep , before you understand who the person you are , in this area , in this world , in this lifetime , in America they will define you as black , like that's the reality of it . No one's going to look at you and be like oh you , white , yo , you made it . No , you are a black woman in america's eyes , in a black community maybe , but right now in america , they're going to look at you as black and in that light you have to be proud of them , and so that was the biggest caveat of just doing a little bit of history lessons . Not necessarily . Oh , you got to study , yeah . No , I'm not like you got to be black , black , black , yeah , yeah . Yeah , I'm not saying that I'm black y'all and I'm black y'all and I'm blacker than black and I'm blacker than black , and I'm black y'all and I'm black y'all and I'm black y'all and I'm blacker than black and I'm black y'all , I'm black , blacker than black black .
Speaker 3I'm blacker than black , yo , because I'm black and I'm black Because you know you're mixed . You're half , you're half . There's cultures on both sides . I want you to know both sides . I want you to be your own person . Yeah , listen to your own music , you know . Do whatever it is that you want to do you know .
Speaker 2So my kid , being being who she is , went through a taylor swift phase and making the styling phase . And now she's listening to her and lma , yeah , yeah , you remember . I remember I was like I told about it . I remember we were driving and she was just I don't know what came on and I was like playing the radio . And I was listening to the radio and she said I heard mother sending me hoes . So I said , okay , so make another hoes . And I'm like where did you learn that ? And she's like like dad , I love that part . Like make another hove . Like dad , they can't make another hove . I'm like do you know who hove is ?
Speaker 2no , but they can't like dad , they can't make another me , so they can't make another hove and uh , just like , uh , just stuff like that . So she's , she definitely was just like . It's so crazy to see them grow up .
Speaker 3Now they're young ladies .
Speaker 2Gosh . It's like , yeah , I know , I know , I told her . I told who was it ? Someone had my aunt . We went to a wedding . My aunt had ran into me . She was like oh my gosh , she was just a baby . What happened ? And I to me , she's like oh my gosh , she was just a baby , what happened ? And I'm like I don't know , I don't know how this work . Stop fucking growing up , like that's the best way I can explain it . I'm tired of this . I just wish you were three months old and you looked at me pooped and smiled . That was it . So , gosh , yeah . And now they're going homecoming dancing Boys .
Speaker 2Nope , we ain't fitting to be where to be where . Nope , I had to threaten a kid . Yep , ok , I ain't threatening a kid , I ain't threatening a kid . I scared the shit out of him . I scared the shit out of him . I scared the shit out of them . Nah , no , I told you about this , right , I just went to the gym . I had to work that day . I'm in like a muscle t-shirt . I ain't got a lot of muscles . Chill out internet . I ain't got a lot of them . I got a little bit Walked in there and it was school .
Speaker 2It was like the thing that they do before school , where you got to meet all your classes or whatever . Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah , okay . And I think I told you this story where we go into this one classroom and there's one boy and he in the corner and he is pacing oh , yeah , yeah , yeah , he got the Justin Bieber haircut , he just scrawny or whatever , and he just pacing back and forth in the corner . Ain't nobody acknowledging this motherfucker . So in my mind , so in my mind that he ain't right . Something's going on with this kid , that mentally he not doing good . I've never met him , so I don't know whose kid this is , but that's what I'm pissed off about . Where his parents at , there's no parents in the Anyway , anyway .
Speaker 2So we go into class and we go , they're a little different , right , right , right , yeah , we're raised a little different . And so we go into the class and he starts walking to me . So now I'm like I got to punch the little kid in his face . I don't know what's fucking wrong with him , but I got to punch him in his face . And no , no , but all seriousness , my kid , my oldest , was standing next to me as he walked to me . She walked to the back of the group .
Speaker 2I'm like , okay , what's going on here ? And he goes are you his father ? I'm like I am . And he goes hello , sir , my name is so-and-so . And I go well , it's nice to meet you .
Speaker 2And he goes , okay , and runs out the damn room . I was just like , I just looked , he was gone . He ain't say nothing to nobody , he just ran . I don't know what the fuck the shiver was , but I was like , okay , he came up to me , he shook my hand , he said , sir , my name is so-and-so , and he introduced himself to me . I was like , okay , and my daughter goes .
Speaker 2He's just a friend , dad , he's just a friend . I'm like , okay , she's like what do you think of him ? I'm like I don't like him . I don't like him Exactly . I ain't going to like him . I ain't going to like him . Like them . I ain't gonna like them Until someone is old enough , mature enough and responsible enough to provide more than I can . I ain't gonna like them . And even then I ain't gonna like them . And Uncle ain't never gonna like them . Nope , let's throw that out there , right there . No , hell , no . Remember
Family Conflict Over Surrogate Decision
Speaker 2. One dude came to the party , the boy . She invited one boy to the party . That's right , right . And me , you , two other uncles were all on him . This boy was so scared dog , this boy was so scared . It took him three hours at the party to ask for a hot dog Three hours . The motherfucker was just sitting there like I haven't eaten yet .
Speaker 3I'm like we haven't served cake and anything Come on , get something to eat .
Speaker 2Hey , listen , listen , I was there . I had a sleeveless shirt on . The other uncle was there with that huge beard and shaved head . You was there . The other uncle had God first tatted on his knuckles . It was not a good clue . It was not a good clue at all . She don't want you to talk to him . No more , of course you don't . He's scared the life out of him . He don't come back , no more . Oh well , my problem Right , we're going to take a short break and we'll be right back .
Speaker 3And we're back to the Real Dream Podcast . Hey , s-s-h-o-l-e , I'm an asshole , world's biggest asshole .
Speaker 2Okay , I gotta get that . I gotta get that one through , yep , so alright . So we're back to our third segment of the day . Man , typically we do Ratchet News . We're gonna switch it up a little bit today and we're gonna read some Reddits , the A-I-T-A-H Reddits . So here we go and get Duke's response on this . Okay , here we go .
Speaker 2Am I the asshole for telling my sister that it's her uterus Keeping her from her dreams , and not me ? I , 26 female , have known for years that I don't want children ever . It's not up for debate . I've been very clear about this with my family , my older sister we're going to call her Samantha . She's 32 female . It's the opposite . She dreamed of being a mother her entire life , but she's been struggling with inferidelity for years . It's been heartbreaking to see her go through this , and I've always tried to be supportive in other ways .
Speaker 2Recently , samantha and her husband started exploring surrogacy . They've saved up enough a lot of money , but the cost is still high . So samantha asked me if I'd consider being her surrogate . I was blindsided . I told her that I love her and support her , but I'm not comfortable with pregnancy , whether for myself or for someone else . I reminded her that I've been very clear about my decision not to have children , and that includes not being pregnant at all . She didn't take it well . She accused me of being selfish and said I was prioritizing my own convenience over her chance to be a mother .
Speaker 2I got worse over the next few weeks , with her dropping passive-aggressive comments and even implying that I was wasting my uterus , since I don't want kids . The breaking point came at a family dinner . Samantha brought up my refusal in front of everyone and said it's so sad when your own sister stands in the way of your dreams . I was so frustrated that I snapped and said it's not me keeping you from your dreams , it's your uterus , and I'm not sacrificing my body to fix that for you . Okay Damn . The room went dead silent . Samantha burst into tears and laughed , and now my family is divided . Some think I was too harsh and should apologize , while others think Samantha crossed the line by trying to guilt trip me . I feel terrible for hurting her , but at the same time , I don't think it's fair to expect me to go against my values and life choices to fix her situation . So , reddit , am I the asshole ? I don't think so .
Speaker 3You don't think she's the asshole ? I don't think she's the asshole . Okay , I don't think she's the asshole at all . I mean , she stated that she said plenty of times that children are not in her plans .
Speaker 3I understand that's her sister . I don't think she's an adult at all . I'm sorry , I just don't . It's not her responsibility . There's other avenues that her sister can go through . They can adopt , they can find another surrogate . I do understand the thought process of having the sister as a surrogate . However , her body , her choice . I'm a man . I'm not even going to get into that conversation of trying to tell a woman what they can and can't do with their body . So that is completely up to her . So there is no way she can be an asshole .
Speaker 2I'm sorry . I feel like she was very clear on what it is that her goals were and it seems like she's committed to this for a long time . Sister feels differently . That's your prerogative . You have the ability to save up money . Still Keep saving up . Even if it's not now , it can still happen . My sister's only 32 .
Speaker 3She's still young . She's a young lady .
Speaker 2So you got time . You know what I mean .
Speaker 2Young woman , I should say Right , and you got time and you know and , I'm sure , resources and you can talk to other family members to help pool resources , but I think she is the asshole , the only , but I think she is the asshole . The only difference between me and you is I think being an asshole is warranted . You called her out at dinner . You called her out at dinner in front of family . She shouldn't have kept bringing that shit up , right , right , and so that's why I'm like nah , you the asshole , good for you , good job , good job she's an asshole , but she's a good asshole .
Speaker 3She's a great asshole , that's right she's only the ass , not the hole right , right , right .
Speaker 2So she's half , she's half you an ass , but you gotta , you gotta be that . Sometimes I get it . I get it cause I feel like that was just like a I ain't gonna respect your boundaries . You know what I mean . I don't respect like there's in the way of your decision to have children and infidelity and all those things . And I'm not saying it's like a clear black and white thing . That's your body and your husband's body that you got to deal with on your own and figure that out and go through other avenues . And if it's not in your cards , then you got to figure out other ways . Or it may not be in your cards . That's understandable . At the same token , that's not her prerogative . She has a life . She wants to use her life however she deems fit and it is not your job to make her feel guilty about it . It's like it ain't anybody else's job to make you feel guilty about wanting kids , absolutely .
Speaker 3As somebody who I may or may not have been called an asshole a couple of times in my life , maybe , maybe , three times today Maybe .
Speaker 3We'll sit , maybe on that . I don't think that's an asshole move . I think I mean her body , her choice . I get it that they're sisters and everything . But again , there's other avenues that the woman can go about and she's only 32 . So there's a possibility that she still can get pregnant herself as well . And who's to say , let's say , the 26 year old does go with it . It's not 100% that she would want to give up the child . She's nursed it and done everything . You know she's felt the baby kick and she felt that baby grow inside of her own body . That's a whole other conversation . Now you have a problem . What if she doesn't want to give that up ?
Speaker 2Typically , surrogates are like people that either have had kids or you know what I mean like fine and like , oh , pregnancy is easy for me , but like you're talking about giving up your first pregnancy to you . That's a lot to ask of anybody . You know what I mean . And she said very clearly she doesn't want to have a kid . That means if she has a kid , there's not going to be like , oh , I didn't want this . You know there might be different emotions that come up and so you , just you push it too hard and I think you I think , since the big sis crossed , crossed the line . I think she crossed the line with that one .
Speaker 2I have to agree on that one like in front of the family see , that's , that's my family would have said something for me oh yeah , it would have been on that side .
Speaker 3So I'm going to go out on just a limb , just , I don't know . I just got this . I don't know , I don't know , I'm going to go out on a limb , just a limb , just , just , just just , I don't know . I just got this , I don't know , I don't know . I'm going to say there's a possibility that the people that we are talking about lack melatonin . That's all I'm going to say , that they lack some melatonin . I think I'm just going out on a limb , yeah , just a little bit . And the part that gave it up is the room went dead silent .
Speaker 3People that have melanin , that ain't gonna happen it may be like a split second and then somebody's like , oh hell , no , and then that's gonna kick it off right now . It's gonna be a whole nother conversation going on . I mean , maybe I could be wrong , I could be wrong , I could be wrong . Listen , listen . Something in the soles of my back tells me that there was no melanin in this conversation .
Speaker 2I read it and at that point , when she said I'm not sacrificing my body to fix you , I even stopped . I stopped reading . I was like damn .
Speaker 3I don't know if it would sound like anything . Anybody with melanin would say that's not even the way that we would say it . It would have been a hell . No yeah , there would have been no debate . There would have been nothing . I feel like if I said something like that to my sister , there would have been no debate . There would have been nothing , I feel like .
Speaker 2I feel like I feel like if I said something like that to like my sister , or something like that , like I'm just going off what my youngest sister would say , who's a very sweet woman , and it's like , oh yeah , you know , you know , you know , it's just sad that you just are just wasting your body and I can't have a kid . The fuck is wrong with you . I just feel like that's what would be the first words that come out of her mouth , Because now it's not subliminal , it's not like I'm going to try to slide this in . No , she coming straight at me . I'm like alright , I get it , that's what I'm saying .
Speaker 3Yeah , I'm going to , I get it . Yeah , I'm gonna go ahead . I don't want to let . I know Black Samantha's yeah , I'm just gonna go ahead . I don't think that that's a Black Samantha's . I could be wrong . I could 100% be wrong . However , if I was a better man and I'm not , because I'm in a state where we can't bet , but if I was a better man , I wouldn't have bet you that there was no melanin in this whole conversation .
Speaker 2It was definitely a milk-colored person , samantha . Good luck to you . Definitely a milk-colored person . That's just my Samantha . Good luck to you . Samantha's the sister yeah , big sister , hope you figure it out . Hope you do end up figuring out how to have a child and you and your husband live happily ever after and are successful . With that , I would leave your sister alone , because this was probably the nicest comment she could have came up with . Let her go , let her live her life . You , not the asshole . I'm just saying I think you should have been more of an asshole , but I think you handled it very well and I think you good , so I wouldn't even worry about it . Everybody's going to have their opinion on it , but , at the same token , if she would have came to you in private and not in front of everybody else , it wouldn't have been their opinion , they wouldn't have had one .
Closing Remarks
Speaker 2It's cool , it's good , good , yeah , damn . Alright , man , anything you need to say .
Speaker 3Nah , man , go ahead and close , wrap us up .
Speaker 2Alright . Well , that was our episode , man , we thank you for joining us , as always from the real .
Speaker 3I do got something . Yeah , drink water and don't be an asshole . Drink water . That's a new one , that's right gotta be hydrated , gotta stay hydrated .
Speaker 2Thank you for joining us , and you know what I mean .
Speaker 1Till next time , keep dreaming yes , sir , I mean until next time . Keep dreaming , yes , sir you .
